A woman named Elyse wrote the following comment on my article “The Benefits of Being a Sexually Obedient Wife”:
“I had a recent discovery regarding sex and it seems very similar to this. I have always been on and off with sexual desire and, of course my husband has always had more than me. I work full time, have two young kids so I totally get the “I’m so tired” shtick. But hear me out. I’ve recently decided to conscientiously submit to my husband better in all of life and that includes sexually. I let him know that I’m ready to submit to him in all ways including the bed and that my body is his. Surprisingly, this has had an amazing impact on our marriage as a whole. Instead of competing for control, I give him control and it makes everything so much better and I find myself falling more in love with him, wanting to please him and he is more confident also. What has been an area of struggle for us is now much better because I stopped the struggle and decided to give myself fully. He knows he can ask any time of day and the answer is yes. It’s been amazing and I’m more turned on and ready for him than I’ve ever been before. Ladies, do it. You’ll not regret it.”
I have had many women email me over the years with similar sentiments. The world tells women they should only have sex with their husbands when they are in the mood. And since 90 percent of men need sex far more often than their wives, this means that the wife controls how often sex happens in the marriage.
Now of course the feminists and egalitarians will shout “Well the men just need to work harder to get their wives in the mood more often”. Many men have tried it your way, trying to constantly earn sex from their wives by trying different things to put them in the mood. And in most cases this strategy fails. Because most women loose respect for the “Mr. Nice Guys” who constantly wash the dishes, clean the house, give them foot rubs and buy them flowers in attempt to put them in the mood. And the women that don’t tire of this or loose respect for their husbands are not feminine women, but rather masculine women.
But even in the cases where it does seem to work in some marriages, where the man is constantly doing things to try and put his wife in the mood or earn sex – this does not make this method right. “Whatever works” is not a marriage strategy that God is happy with. God does not want to see men groveling for sex from their wives. God wants to see women in full submission to their husbands, and a women’s submission to her husband starts with her submission in the bedroom.
Regarding their wives, God tells husbands to in Proverbs 5:19 “Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love” and then in Ephesians 5:24 her tells women “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing”.
When we put together God’s command to husbands in Proverbs 5:19 with God’s command to wives in Ephesians 5:24 God is saying “Husbands use your wife’s body to satisfy your sexual needs at all times, and wives you are to submit to your husband’s desire to use your body to meet his sexual needs at all times”.
Elyse is just one of many Christian women who tried it God’s way. She fully submitted herself to her husband including her body in the bedroom. And it has turned her marriage around. The politically incorrect truth is that deep down inside (for some women way deep down inside), women long for men to take the control in their marriage, both inside the bedroom and outside the bedroom.
Christian wives, will you take this challenge? Will you commit to fully submitting to your husband both inside and outside the bedroom? I promise that like Elyse, you will not regret it and when your marriage turns around you can give God the glory – his design works!
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7 thoughts on “Christian Wives Will You Take the Sexual Submission Challenge?”
I took the challenge years ago and have never regretted it!
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Love this article. Any ideas on how to get your husband to open up in the bedroom? He’s admittedly “shy” he states. He’s opened up before but the past few years things have gotten a bit dull on his side.. some things he used to do he doesn’t and when asked about it he recently said he was shy.
It is extremely common for both men and women to act differently sexually in beginning of a marriage when the marriage is brand new. It is because we are basically running on hormones at that point and we are not acting like ourselves. As the newness of marriage declines we then become our normal personalities and selves and this does change our sex lives.
But there are some politically incorrect, yet Biblical truths about sex below that I would ask you to receive with humility:
“neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.”
1 Corinthians 11:9
When we apply this truth above to the area of sex, the Bible is teaching that God did not create a men to sexually satisfy women, but rather he created women to sexually satisfy men. Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not saying God only created woman to sexually satisfy man, he created for many other purposes like being his companion, the mother of his children and keeper of his home.
A reasonable set of questions would then be “If God created woman to sexually satisfy man and not man to sexually satisfy woman, then why does a woman have a clitoris? Why is she capable of having orgasms? Why does does she desire sexual pleasure too?”
And the answer is that God created woman with the capacity for experiencing sexual pleasure and the desire for sexual pleasure to enhance man’s sexual pleasure. Think of how less satisfying sex would be for a man if woman has no desire for or ability to experience sexual pleasure?
Let me give you another passage to consider as well:
“18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. 19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”
Proverbs 5:18-19 (KJV)
The passage above reinforces the scriptural principle that woman was made to sexually satisfy and ravish man and that man was not made to sexually satisfy and ravish woman.
The Bible commands that man must provide sexual relations to their wives (Exodus 21:10-11 & 1 Corinthians 11:3-5), but it never says a husbands should sexually satisfy and ravish their wives. This truth is a gut punch to our egalitarian views of sex today, but it also the truth of the the Word of God.
Are wives allowed to enjoy sex(orgasm) and ask for what works for them
Yes wives are allowed to orgasm and enjoy sex and very gently try to direct their husbands – using non-verbal direction is the best. Like using moans and body movements to show him he is doing the right thing. When a woman verbally instructs her husband especially during sex, it can be very emasculating and actually cause him to loose his erection.
In other words, it is perfect fine for a woman to enjoy sex with her husband – but we must be careful of making sex feminine centric. God says he created the woman for the man, not the man for the woman in 1 Corinthians 11:9. And while he forbids men from not giving sexual relations to their wives in Exodus 21:10 and 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 he never condemns men for not giving their wives orgasms or making them the center of sex. In fact, the Bible calls sex “the natural use of the woman” in Romans 1:27 and it never calls it the natural use of the man. Why? Because woman was made for man, not man for woman. And in Proverbs 5:18-19 it commands that the husband is to fully sexually satisfied and sexually intoxicated by his wife – it never says this the other way around.
Every woman must realize that her body, her breasts, her vagina, her clitoris and even her ability to orgasm were not given to her for her own pleasure – but rather all these things were given for pleasure of her husband. That advice I am giving matches very much with advice that was given to women for thousands of years before the modern age. His sexual satisfaction should be the goal of sex, your sexual satisfaction as a woman is a bonus if it occurs.
And I realize what I just said will trigger a lot feminists and even Christian women who do not consider themselves feminists, but it is the truth of the Word of God.
Submission is key
Love and family
To bend down is to trust
And always obey is a must
My husband first
My children next
My neighbours and others
I shall be less
Woman for man
Not man for her
Submit to him
And blessings occur
Sexually frustrated husband is not an easy partnet in a marriage. It’s so simple and logical. Marriage it not easy, it’s a hard work for both. Husband has a huge responsibility leading and caring family. It’s not easy so we shouldn’t expect that wife’s part of a marriage should be easy and only fullfiled by pleasure, no wife’s duties, chores etc.
Husband has duties as a head of family and wife also has duties. So if husband has sexual needs, where he should go? Protitute? Neighbour? Pretend that his need doesn’t exist? No. He should go to a wife and she should follow his need. Happy men = happy husband.
I believe that being sexaully available it’s my duty as a submissive wife. I’m not always super entusiastic about sex but I can’t even imagine how could I say “No.” to my husband. This is the way I show him my care.