A woman named Elyse wrote the following comment on my article “The Benefits of Being a Sexually Obedient Wife”:
“I had a recent discovery regarding sex and it seems very similar to this. I have always been on and off with sexual desire and, of course my husband has always had more than me. I work full time, have two young kids so I totally get the “I’m so tired” shtick. But hear me out. I’ve recently decided to conscientiously submit to my husband better in all of life and that includes sexually. I let him know that I’m ready to submit to him in all ways including the bed and that my body is his. Surprisingly, this has had an amazing impact on our marriage as a whole. Instead of competing for control, I give him control and it makes everything so much better and I find myself falling more in love with him, wanting to please him and he is more confident also. What has been an area of struggle for us is now much better because I stopped the struggle and decided to give myself fully. He knows he can ask any time of day and the answer is yes. It’s been amazing and I’m more turned on and ready for him than I’ve ever been before. Ladies, do it. You’ll not regret it.”
I have had many women email me over the years with similar sentiments. The world tells women they should only have sex with their husbands when they are in the mood. And since 90 percent of men need sex far more often than their wives, this means that the wife controls how often sex happens in the marriage.
Now of course the feminists and egalitarians will shout “Well the men just need to work harder to get their wives in the mood more often”. Many men have tried it your way, trying to constantly earn sex from their wives by trying different things to put them in the mood. And in most cases this strategy fails. Because most women loose respect for the “Mr. Nice Guys” who constantly wash the dishes, clean the house, give them foot rubs and buy them flowers in attempt to put them in the mood. And the women that don’t tire of this or loose respect for their husbands are not feminine women, but rather masculine women.
But even in the cases where it does seem to work in some marriages, where the man is constantly doing things to try and put his wife in the mood or earn sex – this does not make this method right. “Whatever works” is not a marriage strategy that God is happy with. God does not want to see men groveling for sex from their wives. God wants to see women in full submission to their husbands, and a women’s submission to her husband starts with her submission in the bedroom.
Regarding their wives, God tells husbands to in Proverbs 5:19 “Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love” and then in Ephesians 5:24 her tells women “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing”.
When we put together God’s command to husbands in Proverbs 5:19 with God’s command to wives in Ephesians 5:24 God is saying “Husbands use your wife’s body to satisfy your sexual needs at all times, and wives you are to submit to your husband’s desire to use your body to meet his sexual needs at all times”.
Elyse is just one of many Christian women who tried it God’s way. She fully submitted herself to her husband including her body in the bedroom. And it has turned her marriage around. The politically incorrect truth is that deep down inside (for some women way deep down inside), women long for men to take the control in their marriage, both inside the bedroom and outside the bedroom.
Christian wives, will you take this challenge? Will you commit to fully submitting to your husband both inside and outside the bedroom? I promise that like Elyse, you will not regret it and when your marriage turns around you can give God the glory – his design works!
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