The church’s war against masculine sexuality began around 50 A.D. when some post apostolic church fathers began to follow false doctrines of asceticism. Clement of Alexandria taught that sex was a desire of the flesh and that men should only have sex for “begetting children” and not because of “desire he feels for his wife”. Later in 400 A.D., Augustine would call the sexual desire of a husband toward his wife a “venial fault”.
Modern Narratives About Masculine Sexuality
The Feminist Narrative
“Men should not sexually objectify women”
The Church Narrative
“Men should only think sexually about their wife”
The Mom Narrative
“Don’t be a pervert”
The Wife Narrative
“I should be only woman who arouses you”
It is these narratives that men are bombarded with every day of their lives. And make no mistake, these narratives represent a visceral hatred for male sexuality as God designed it. And at the same time that the church and feminists denigrate the visual and physical aspects of male sexuality – they exalt the feminine relational and emotional sexual nature as the ideal that men should strive for.
The Church’s False Doctrine of Lust
For centuries, Christian men have been taught by their churches and parents that pleasure they feel when seeing beautiful women and the thoughts of what it would be like to have sex with women are wicked corruptions of their natures.
This doctrine is based on a false interpretation of Matthew 5:28 and Job 31:1.
“But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” – Matthew 5:28 (KJV)
“I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?” – Job 31:1 (KJV)
How The Bible Actually Defines Lust
The Bible defines what lust is in the following passages:
“What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the law: for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet.” – Romans 7:7 (KJV)
“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.” – Exodus 20:17 (KJV)
What Covetousness Is and Is Not
Romans 7:7 tells us that lust is a violation of the 10th commandment’s prohibition against covetousness. But what is covetousness?
The context in which covetousness occurs in the 10th commandment tells us what covetousness is not, which then tells us what covetousness actually is.
If the 10th commandment was condemning finding someone or something that did not belong to us as desirable or even thinking of what it would be like to possess that someone or something – then all commerce would be sin. No one could buy someone else’s house or land or their cattle. Therefore we know that covetousness is not merely having a desire toward or even fantasizing what it would be like to possess someone or something.
The 10th commandment teaches us that covetousness (which is lust) is the desire to unlawfully possess something or someone that does not belong to us. Covetousness is the desire which precedes the actions of murder, adultery and theft which are condemned in the 6th, 7th and 8th commandments.
In Matthew 5:28, Christ was not condemning men for being sexually aroused by women or thinking of what it would be like to have sex with women. He was condemning men having thoughts of enticing women into unlawfully having sex with them.
And in Job 31:1, Job was saying the same thing. That he had made a covenant with his eyes not to look upon a woman with covetous desire to unlawfully possess her.
In Romans 1:27 the Bible teaches that sex is “the natural use of the woman” despite feminist and even modern church teachings to the contrary.
And Genesis 30:18 shows God blessing a woman for giving her husband another wife, Exodus 21:10-11 shows God regulating the taking of additional wives, and in 2 Samuel 12:8 God told David he gave him his many wives.
These passages together prove that man’s visual, physical and polygynous sexual nature is by design of God. And no man, young or old should be made to be ashamed of it.