Last week when celebrating their 24th wedding anniversary, Candace Cameron Bure, with her husband’s approval, posted what was meant to be a fun and light hearted picture of her husband cupping her fully clothed breast. And right after she posted it, the Christian modesty mob came for her. The sight of a married man cupping his wife’s clothed breast was just too much for them to bear.
Many of the comments from her detractors were that they had “lost respect” for her and “things like this should remain private” and it was “inappropriate” and a “bad example” for all the young Christian women that look up to her.
Thankfully, after initially deleting the photo from her Instagram(@candacecbure), she posted the photo back up (along with another photo from the same time) and stood her ground that she had done nothing wrong and she stated the following:
“For all of you Christians that are questioning my post with my husband’s hand on my boob — my husband of 24 years — thinking it was inappropriate, it makes me laugh because it’s my husband, we have so much fun together. He can touch me anytime he wants, and I hope he does. This is what a healthy, good marriage and relationship is all about.”
While I hate to see the persecution that Candace had to endure from so many Christians for posting this, I believe this is a very teachable moment for the Christian community.
As Bible believing Christians, we should all agree that God has reserved sexual relations for marriage as the Bible states in Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge”.
But absolutely nothing in the Bible forbids a man from playing with his wife, even in a sexual way, in public. We even have an example this kind of behavior in the Bible as seen below:
“And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.”
Genesis 26:8 (KJV)
Isaac had told his wife Rebekah to pretend she was his sister when they were with the Philistines. But then in some public court yard, where the King could see it, Isaac was seen “sporting” with Rebekah. The Hebrew word translated as “sporting” in the KJV is “tsachaq” which literally means “to laugh, mock or play”. Isaac was playing his with wife, making her laugh in a way that only a husband would do with his wife. He was playing with her in a sexual way. He was most likely cupping her breasts or grabbing her butt and kissing on her neck as men often do with their wives.
And while he should not have lied about who she was, the Bible offers absolutely no condemnation for Isaac sporting with his wife in a place that people could see them.
It is actually a good example for young women, both single and married to see Candace doing this with her husband. It shows the beauty of sex in marriage where God intended it to be. Even though her children grown up now, even if they were younger there was nothing in appropriate in this photo even for kids to see. It shows the love their mother and father have for one another.
And I just love what Candace said regarding her husband’s complete freedom in regard to her body:
“He can touch me anytime he wants, and I hope he does. This is what a healthy, good marriage and relationship is all about”.
Amen sister Candace, Amen. May more women have that kind of attitude about their husbands in sexual ways.
One other thing I want say about this. If you look at the photo on the left with her husband Val kissing her on the forward, that would be an approved image by the Christian modesty mob. Why? Because it is “romantic” and “nonsexual” touching.
Now to be sure, there was a time when most Christians would have condemned both pictures as being immodest because it was considered immodest for a husband and wife to show any kind of physical affection in public. I know of a conservative Christian university that used to forbid couples who got married in their campus chapel from kissing in the chapel and they had to wait till they exited the chapel to kiss as husband and wife.
But as the decades went by, the feminine or “romantic” view of sex became the dominant view in Christianity. Now pictures of married couples kissing, or even dating couples in many cases, were seen as perfectly find and beautiful pictures of love.
The reason for that 99 percent of women would find the picture of Val kissing Candace on her forehead beautiful, but they would find the picture of Val kissing cupping his wife’s breast as “crude”, “inappropriate” or “immodest” is because they have not been taught to respect masculine perspective of sex. In fact, most women modern churches today are taught to look down on the very physical masculine perspective of sex while upholding the feminine romantic view of sex as holy and next to godliness.
I have read some of Candace’s books as my wife has had them laying around the house over the years and I found many areas where I disagree with her. Like most women today, I don’t think she fully understands or accepts the masculine sexual nature. I have corrected some of the things she says about the masculine sexual nature with my daughter and I would also disagree Candace on the subject of women and careers. But I will say based on this photo that she took with her husband as well as some things I have read in her books and seen on her Instagram, that Candace accepts a lot more of the masculine perspective of sex in marriage than a lot of women do today.
What about God Calling on Women To Be Modest?
Many Christian women will dismiss the sporting of Isaac and Rebekah in Genesis 26:8 as something “different” than what Candace and her husband did. And the reason they do this is based on a false idea of what the Biblical concept of modesty is.
Most Christian women think “modest” means “nonsexual“. That women are to dress and conduct themselves in “nonsexual” ways outside the privacy of their bedroom with their husbands.
But this is not what the Biblical word translated as modest means. In the New Testament we read the following exhortation toward women:
“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array”
I Timothy 2:9 (KJV)
The word “modest” in that passage is a translation of the Greek word “Kosmios“, which in the context it is used means “seemly” or “appropriate”. And the fuller context of this passage is how women should dress when coming to worship in the assembled the church.
See my article “What is Biblical Modesty” for a more in-depth examination of other words in this passage and the larger context of the passage.
My point though is that modesty, Biblically speaking, does not mean “nonsexual”, it means “appropriate”.
Many Christians of have called Candace and her husband’s action in posting this photo for public consumption “inappropriate”. They say such actions and pictures should remain private.
But the question is, where is the Scriptural proof for such an assertion that that these actions were inappropriate? Where does the Bible condemn a man for publicly playing sexually with his wife in the way Candace and her husband did? The answer is it does not.
In a society where premarital sex is the norm and divorce rates are almost 50 percent, we need more couples like Candace and her husband to show that sexual playfulness in marriage, is something to be honored – not something to be ridiculed.