Some Christians believe it is wrong to ever use certain words related to sex. They believe this based on Bible passages like the one below:
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”
They believe that it is sinful for a Christian to ever utter words like “fuck”, “pussy”, “cock”, “tits” or “cum” but instead they believe Christians should always use the biological terms for sexual relations, sexual organs and sexual functions. Therefore, they believe that we should only use words like “intercourse”, “vagina”, “penis”, “breasts” and “semen” whenever we refer to sexual relations as Christians.
The unfortunate result of this belief is that these same couples end up being very inhibited as to how they can express themselves before they have sexual relations, during foreplay or while they are having sexual relations.
So are these Christians who believe it always wrong to use the F-word, P-word and C-words rightly interpreting and applying the Scriptures? I believe the answer is no. Certainly it is wrong for a Christian to use the F-word, P-word and C-words simply as adjectives and adverbs for every day speech as so many people do.
But the truth is that often times it is the context which something occurs that makes it right or wrong. If a person uses a knife to kill someone in order to defend someone that person is hailed as a hero. But if a person uses a knife to kill someone out of anger they are called a murderer. The exact same action, that of a person stabbing another is either righteous or unrighteous depending on the context in which it occurs.
In the same way it is not wrong for someone to stab another person in the context of defending another, it is not wrong for Christians to use the F-word, P-word and C-words in the context of sexual relations.
Ephesians 4:29 tells us that we should only use words in a way “which is good to the use of edifying”. To edify means to build someone up. Let’s be honest, which phrases would build a man up better if he is being honest?
“I want you to insert your large penis in my vagina!” or “fuck me with your big cock!”
“Keep having intercourse in my vagina!” or “Keep fucking my pussy!”?
“Please ejaculate your semen in my vagina!” or “Please fill my pussy with your cum!”?
And even from the perspective of the woman which would build her up better in the context of sexual relations?
“Your vagina is tight and filled with fluid” or “Your pussy is so tight and wet!”
“I can’t wait to get home so I can suck your nipples and lick your vulva with my tongue!” or “I can’t wait to get home so I can suck your tits and eat your pussy!”
What if Either The Husband Or Wife is Uncomfortable With This Language?
Even if it is Biblically allowable within the context of sexual relations for a Christian husband and wife to use the F-word, P-word and C-words what if one or both of them are uncomfortable using this language?
What if a wife does not think it builds her up for her husband to tell her he wants to come home and “fuck her brains out” or “eat her pussy”? What if a wife only wants her husband to refer to sex as “making love” to her as some women do?
To answer this question we need to go back to some foundational principles of creation.
What did God create man and woman? According to 1 Corinthians 11:7, the male human being “is the image and glory of God, but the woman is the glory of the man”. And 1 Corinthians 11:9 we read “Neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man”.
The passage above from 1 Corinthians 11:7-9 literally gives us the meaning of life. While both the male and female are made in the image of God, it is only said of the male that he “IS the image and glory of God”. God created man to image him, to live out his attributes. That is why God’s titles are always masculine like father, son and king and not mother, daughter and queen.
And why did God create woman? He created her for man. He created her to be a helper, a companion, to bear and care for his children and to keep his home. But he also created woman for man’s sexual pleasure.
This is why the Bible calls sex “the natural use of the woman” in Romans 1:27 and it tells men in Proverbs 5:19 to use their wives to “satisfy” their sexual desires. And it commands women to be loving, pleasant and sexually intoxicating to their husbands.
This is why it is Biblically correct to say neither was sex created for the woman, but rather sex was created for then man.
And whenever this truth is stated some will contend “But God told men not to deny sex to their wives in Exodus 21:10-11 and 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 therefore God made sex for both men and women.”
To answer this question we must ask and answer another question.
Why did God place in woman the desire for sexual relations with a man and why did he give her the ability to experience sexual pleasure? The answer goes back to the foundational principle that woman and everything about her was created for man. God gave woman her desire for sex and ability to experience sexual pleasure not for herself, but for man to enhance his sexual pleasure.
Notice how in the Bible it only refers to sex as “the natural use of the woman” and never “the natural use of the man”? Also notice that the Bible only tells a man to use his wife’s body to satisfy his sexual desires but it never tells women to use their husband’s body to satisfy their sexual desires?
Even in the Song of Solomon, it is the woman’s body that is portrayed as her husband’s garden from which he is invited to “eat his pleasant fruits” (Song of Solomon 4:16). Even when the wife speaks of the pleasure of performing fellatio on her husband look closely at her language:
“As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.”
Song of Solomon 2:3
Notice how she does not refer to husband’s gentiles as “her apple tree” but rather refers to “his fruit”. Neither does she call his body “her garden”. Why? Again this is consistent with the witness of the Bible that the woman was made for the man, not the man for the woman.
And it is this principle, that woman and sex was made for man that gives us the answer to this question.
If the man prefers to use this language with his wife in the context of sexual relations then the couple should use it. If the husband is does not prefer to use this language in the context of sexual relations than the wife should refrain.
Many men are non-verbal when it comes to sex but they like it when their wives are verbal and when their wives use these kinds of words. If so, then the wife should comply with her husband’s wishes and thus fulfill one of her purposes in being created which was to bring sexual pleasure to her husband.